I loved you then I love you still but your agenda always seemed to be filled with other lovers some more significant than others.
 
I was 15, young and naïve. You were dressed head to toe in black. You threatened to pee on a sign that wasn’t even mine. Days passed and next thing I knew we were attached at the lips and inseparable. You were the apple in my eye and my first taste of freedom. My handsome gentleman caller romantic as they come. Roses by the stairs, you showered me with gifts, you made me laugh, ended each night with a kiss.
Months flew by, we couldn’t have been crazier about each other. But like everything else in this world but time, nothing lasts forever.

You were always there for me. You were tall dark and handsome. Your hair darker than the deepest black. Your hands were large and your touch was the one thing that rescued me. We tried to keep things on the low but being as everyone knew who we were it was nearly impossible. You enjoyed football and West Palm Beach. You promised me forever and always, promises that were broken. You were the chicken fried cook and I was the Taco Bell grill, as you called me. My summer love. We lived in closed quarters and you played the guitar, you even wrote me a couple of songs. But we were young and people did what they do best they talked and I believed. I yelled. I screamed. You were always one to hold a grudge, so to Palm Beach you went. I got tatted I got pierced, did everything I could to try and heal from the pain that little words caused and you fled in to her arms. Low blow, my summer love.

School was almost out and my good friend Svedka felt we owed it to ourselves to be more than just friends for the night. It was all a blur of laughter, the back seat of our friend’s car their cheers, camera flashes and a walk home. I finally knew what it was like to feel your kiss.

Now I was 18 and I remembered you as that boy that always was fascinated with the fishnets on my hands. We used to be alphabetized and luckily our last names were pretty close but I moved back to Miami and this site named MySpace, at the time very popular, got us reacquainted again. We hung out a few times and you let me drive your car. You were a certified vampire so I let you draw my blood outside of a supermarket with the hope that it would go out to help someone in need of it. Your eyes were the most beautiful shade of green, your accent thick and your chivalry not yet lost. Our new found re-acquaintance was brief, we left it at that.

We left it at that because I met you. You were fascinating in every way. Funny, smart, mature, gorgeous, and driven. You hit me fast and hard. Computer tech, whom would visit me in class and hung out with me and my friends during our lunch breaks. Soon enough you and I were so close that you’d drive up and take me to school so I wouldn’t have to sit through another hour long bus ride. I’d never met anyone quite like you. But ,you had to be too good to be true. I left school, learned a few lessons and made a good friend out of it all.

Suddenly, you were short, but taller than me, really thin and quirky, cheap and shy. Despite all the odds I thought you were adorable. It never worked.

Then you were judgmental, dark, and hurt. As time went by you and I suddenly were one. We’d fight like cats and dogs with all the intensity that I might have once confused for love. It was always because you were stuck in your youth, you didn’t have a job and you didn’t go to school and I wanted you to at least have one of them. You just wanted me all to yourself, you tried to rip me from all my friends and family, but we just didn’t fit. We tried time and time again and I’d mess up on purpose to try and end things. After three years I couldn’t do it anymore, I was worth more than your beady eyes would ever open up to see and then just like that it was over.

We’d recently met in my adventure to meet her. It was unplanned and a breath of fresh air. You had to have been the most interesting person I’d ever had the pleasure to meet. Meaningful conversations and tons of movie titles after, we splashed water on that which could have been a flame.
I’d known you for a few years and suddenly you gathered the courage to take me to the top of a downtown skyscraper, my knees were weak with my fear of heights and my fear of the fall. I clutched to your shirt and you kissed my lips. I kissed you back. You confessed that you’d always wanted to do that. After that moment I practically lived in downtown and I should have braced my self for the amounts of quarters I’d spend in the meters, the lack of parking spaces and the parking tickets I‘d walk up to on my windshield at the end of a good day. I was always in a clouded state and even though we couldn’t see the stars you’d still go out of your way to show them to me on the top of the building regardless.  Soccer in closed parks and walking the dog without baggies or a leash, we were pretty bad ass. You were so jealous, I still smile about that. You decided to partake in that game that modern men have perfected. Broken glass, choked necks and blood shot eyes. It was the argument of the century and I wasn’t going to do that again. We could have been something special, up until then.

I was ready  to be alone. Why did you have to be so persistent with your charm? Those honey brown eyes and years of experience were definitely working towards your favor. It was as if I was14 again. Your way with words so sly. After a month or two I was yours. I was falling without a parachute. Then, on a breezy autumn night in November, you stole your very first kiss with me under the moonlight on the beach in front of our friends and for the first time I felt that spark that for so many years I’d heard people talk about. Little did I know what big role you would play in my life and in my heart. I felt like a kid again and you were so smitten. The next few months were the most magical months I’d ever experienced. Then everything came tumbling down the way everyone warned me it would. I wasn’t prepared for a pistol of your caliber and I was hit and wounded. I was stupid for trusting and with all the love in my heart I didn’t know what to do but forgive.

You were a distraction from the world and my pain. You lent me your shoulder to cry on and a world apart from my own but somewhere along the way you tripped and fell for me. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship and you tried to be persistent. I’d already had it with persistence. I was in love with our friendship not with you. I figured we could try things and see how they went but I wasn’t in to it and I couldn’t string you along. I told you what you already knew,  we weren’t meant to be.

You came from miles away to announce your presence and water has a way of drying up and cleaning everything for a fresh start. You made me face my fears and you made me fly. We walked through Strawberry Fields something you knew I’d appreciate. We kissed miles up in the sky at the top of the rock and we had the best two weeks anyone could have ever planned. But distance has it’s way of changing things and the city that never sleeps was too much distance from a magic city girl like me.

We tried again, I’d missed you more than words could ever describe, yet I found myself waiting for the past to repeat it’s self and just like the sun that rises every morning it wasn’t s hard to see the inevitable happen again. In my heart you will always have that special place that you didn’t cherish enough when I gave it to you in life.

I’d like to thank you for the wisdom you have all individually given me and I wouldn’t change a thing because they say that everything happens for a reason, they say you can’t have the good without the bad and despite it all I will never give up on you because I know you will be the perfect ending and time has a way of changing things as I’m still sitting here writing my story baby, I’m a whole new me since back then before everything started. I’m a whole different person from back when I was 14.

slave-to-my-register:

Money is money, right?

You pay your $10 order with five $1 coins and the rest in dimes and pennies. 
Money is money.

You pay for your $1.99 order with $100 bill.
Money is money.

Well guess what?
When you ask for $200 cash back and I had you two $100 bills.
Money is money.

Not so nice now right?

Love always, Cashiers ♥

We are born alone and when it’s time, we die alone. Should we really spend the days of our lives alone?  In life we can’t truly enjoy the things we love without those special people to share them with and in life there is no feeling quite like loving someone and having that feeling reciprocated.

We are one walking half going through this journey, we try n all theses different puzzle pieces trying to become whole. The meaning of life is what ever one wants it to be and for me the meaning of life is love and happiness. I probably sound like a hippie but it’s true. I don’t aspire to be anything but happy at the end of my story. For some people it’s the executive job or money, clothes, cars, and although I wouldn’t mind having all of those things there are merely just accessories to the outfit of life. In the end they are all just material and temporary things that you can’t take with you when you pass.

I just want you. You’re touch, your scent, your lips to kiss mine. I want to try you as I believe that you are my missing puzzle piece. You are the one that makes me feel whole.